“Sometimes it feels
As if the whole world is weighing me down
And I find myself drowning in a tsunami of
All the things that could possibly go wrong
For a moment, I lose my breath
And then I wish it could stay lost
It’s a strange feeling to loathe yourself
To feel like you’re aimlessly lingering on this earth
With your very existence”
– J.L., Existence (2016)
I always get nervous sharing such personal things on my blog. I try to portray myself as this confident, fearless person, but the truth is, I’ve struggled with low self-esteem for a long time.
Over the last five years, I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts. For the last year or so, the thoughts haven’t been so prominent, but I also started getting anxiety attacks. The first few times, I had no idea what the heck was going on (I actually thought I was going to die the first time), and I was terrified. I still get anxiety attacks now, but I’ve taught myself to control them.
For the most part, I am a happy person. I’m slowly learning to control my emotions and evolve myself into a stronger person. Without further ado, here are some tips on how to deal with your negative thoughts.
1. Don’t let things get to you
One of the first bad anxiety attacks happened after a company I worked for did something very unfair to me. My reaction to the situation was a bit silly, now that I think of it, but I couldn’t believe that there were people in the world who could be so shitty. If someone does something shitty to you, don’t let it get to you – forget it, and move on.
2. Don’t read too much into things
I’ve been told so many times that I read too much into things. When someone unintentionally acts even a little cold to me, I automatically assume they hate me. Reading too much into things just leads you into overthinking and makes you miserable.
3. Negativity attracts negativity and positivity attracts positivity
I don’t know if this just happens to me, but when I have really bad days, everything seems to go wrong. However, when I try to be positive, things around me seem to turn out pretty well. My dad taught me about negative and positive energy growing up, and this has just stuck with me all along. Like Roald Dahl says, “If you have good thoughts they’ll shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
4. Surround yourself with people who love and care about you
Don’t bother with people who make you feel bad about yourself or people who only have negative things to say about other people. It rubs off on you more than you think it does. Instead, surround yourself with people who love and care about you, and it’ll help push the negative thoughts away.
I’m a little terrified to share this with you, but I’ve been told by some of my friends/readers that posts like this in the past have helped them. I used to write posts like this all the time on an older blog because I wanted to help people, but lately I’ve been so caught up in exploring new areas of blogging that I’ve forgotten why I started blogging in the first place. I hope this post helped you in some way. Thanks for taking the time to read this!