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What It’s Like Dating a White Guy as an Asian Girl

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What It’s Like Dating a White Guy as an Asian Girl

As a young Asian woman, I am no stranger to feeling fetishized by white males.

During the year and a half I was on Tinder, white males of or around my age sent me messages such as:

  • “You’re my first Asian”
  • “Asa Akira”
  • “You look like an Asian goddess”

And best of all: “don’t Asian girls love white guys?”

Creepy Tinder message
Creepy Tinder message

I was born and raised in Toronto by my parents who were also raised in Toronto, so I was just as westernized as these guys were.

When I received messages from other people of colour, they didn’t even mention anything about the fact that I was Asian.

As my boyfriend (who is a white male himself) puts it, “Every white guy wants to have sex with an Asian girl, but not all of them want to date one.”

We all know the popular slang term “yellow fever”, which describes a (usually) white male who fetishizes Asian women.

My personal thoughts on what it's like dating a white guy as an Asian girl, along with experiences I've had growing up Chinese-Canadian.

Breaking out of my heritage

On the other hand, there are also plenty of Asian women who fetishize white guys just as much.

If we’re being honest here, I was one of these girls at one point.

From the ages of 17 to 20, I was only interested in white guys.

I felt like I was sort of “upgrading” in a way by moving away from my heritage.

I felt proud that I was more white-washed than all my other Asian friends.

So, what changed?

I matured, for the most part.

Adam and I have been dating for over a year, and I’ve learned that we are very much alike.

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Although we grew up with some very different traditions (my Chinese/Vietnamese heritage and his Canadian/Jewish heritage), we pretty much went through the same circumstances as Canadian children.

I also went to Hong Kong last summer, and it really opened my eyes to my Chinese heritage.

My personal thoughts on what it's like dating a white guy as an Asian girl, along with experiences I've had growing up Chinese-Canadian.

Yellow fever vs. attraction

There is a difference between having yellow fever and simply being attracted to the physical features of people from a certain culture.

And you can very easily tell if a guy has the former.

I don’t ever feel racialized or stereotyped around Adam or his friends, but that could just be because Toronto is such a multicultural place.

Plus, our generation is much more accepting than the generation before us.

We once overheard a comment from an old man saying “where do I get myself a hot Asian girl?” but he was obviously from a very different generation.

I’m proud to be Asian, and I’m working on learning Cantonese and Vietnamese (at least the basics).

Dating Adam doesn’t “upgrade” me in any way – we’re both equals.

I love him for who he is, not for the colour of his skin.

And I definitely don’t see him as a white guy – I just see him as my guy.


P.S. if you liked this post, you might like this post on awkward phases you might remember as a 90s kid, or any of my other lifestyle posts.

Be sure to keep up with me on InstagramFacebookTwitter, and Pinterest if you aren’t already!

Jessica Lam | Toronto lifestyle, fashion, beauty, and travel blogger | Diary of a Toronto Girl, a Canadian lifestyle blog

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Jonathan Baldock

Wednesday 7th of February 2018

I'm married to an Asian. not because of looks totally. but more so because Asians have a better sense of family values and morality that western woman are loosing. And Asians are healthier in appearance and lifestyle habits. White woman are very worldly and complain alot, and most get fat for some reason. My friends wife who is white, is very worldly and complains all the time about the simplest things. Asians have a better appreciation for what they have and work hard to get what they have and respect others in a better way.

Fuck you

Monday 22nd of March 2021

@Jnathan Baldock, nice stereotyping. You're not better than the white guys who sexualize Asian women. You just made a sweeping stereotype that all Asian women are docile and submissive. Disgusting. I hope your Asian wife is talking shit behind your hairy back in her own language.

Sonny Blarney

Saturday 27th of January 2018

The post, the boyfriend and almost all of the commenters are totally racist.

There is no such thing as 'Asian fever'.

Most white guys want to date white women, most Asian dudes want to date Asian women.

There are aberrations for minorities living in a dominant culture - and it has nothing to do with 'White'.

'Asian fever' is a ridiculous stereotype.

The only truly racialized issue is that most men, when going outside their race, will prefer middle eastern or asian or latino women over black women. Being a black person, especially woman, has to be hard, but beyond that there's nothing new under the sun.

juffury

Monday 1st of January 2018

Men in general are notorious for screwing around their early 20s - the so called "pump and dump". And it just turns out white men have a leverage in this game. For virtually all races, non-white women are the most receptive to white men usually followed or prefaced by men of their own race. No surprise here. We all know that.

Most girls these days becomes victims of this game at some point in their life. Usually during college. "Chad seems so cool. He's so handsome and confident. I'll let him touch my coochie." Then he dumps you to find his next prize.

Now onto my point. Asian women are especially vulnerable. Most of you have heard that "asian women are easy" and I guarantee you these comments come from mostly white men. I have a few college buddies who like to "pump and dump". They tell me asian women are especially easy since most of them are receptive to just about any white guy.

These asian women have been toyed with. Used as a sperm depository. A so called sperm donor bank. A cum dumpster. They fall for white Chad. And a victim of this heinous, dirty, dirty game is no one other than Jennifer the Basic Bitch.

Jennifer the Basic Bitch thinks she's in love and then one day she pops the proposal "maybe we should get married hahaha :)" Chad laughs it off innocently. But then realizes she's serious. He pukes in his mouth a bit and thinks to himself "Biaaaatch, I just like fucking yo tight ass pussy, why da fuck would I marry you. So I can have some chink-looking kid who looks nothing like me?? Biaaaatch you a crazy hoe" But being the supreme gentlemen he is, he responds "Honey, let me think about it" He slowly starts ignoring her until one day he ghosts her completely. Chad is off to finding younger, more naive girls to pump and dump. He has his eyes on those cutie 3.14 asian/black/latino girls who they know at this point in their lives have some serious self-identity issues and are looking for an "upgrade" so to speak.

Now, a single woman approaching her 30s is problematic for her mental health. All her other friends has had kids. A family. Her instinctive mother reflexes are kicking in. She wants to have a family, but who is going to fall for a used up cum dumpster? Then, she thinks. "That's right, lemme go snatch one of em beta orbiters!"

Jennifer the Basic Bitch goes to an asian man, who to this day still prefers asian women and thinks he's only ever worthy for asian women (he's been conditioned to think that asian men aren't sexy and that non-asian women don't like asian men). She hits on him and being the pitiful beta orbiter that he is, he falls for her. They get married. They have kids. He thinks they're in love. But Jennifer is just fantasizing about how her kids could have been white. Oh, wishful dreams!

Hope you enjoyed my story.

PS: Adam you just might be a Chad.

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this storyare fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

Nishi Hundan

Wednesday 22nd of November 2017

White guys who date Asian women are losers. That's the cold hard truth.

Jake Miller

Thursday 23rd of November 2017

u r just mad u stoopid chink becuz u cant get any gurls

International Observer

Saturday 4th of November 2017

This woman needs to be shot in the forehead for subjecting people to this crap “article”.